Gristle the Evil Clown (aka Dave Cardillo)

<body bgcolor="B50021" text="000000" link="75F7FF" vlink="FFFFFF" alink="00A000"> <BASEFONT=3> <IMG WIDTH=800 HEIGHT=20 SRC="bar.gif">  <A HREF="http://home.earthlink.net/~gristle/newindex.html" TARGET="_top"><IMG WIDTH=180 HEIGHT=141 HSPACE=10 VSPACE=10 ALT="Get a real browser" ALIGN=LEFT BORDER=0 SRC="geceye.gif" onMouseOver = "window.status='Skip this drivel and get there already';return true"></A> <A HREF="http://the-tech.mit.edu/Macmade/"><IMG WIDTH=88 HEIGHT=31 ALT="yeah, I own a Mac, so what?" ALIGN=RIGHT SRC="http://members.aol.com/gristlenyc/macmade-wht.gif" onMouseOver = "window.status='I will give up my Mac when they pry it from my cold dead fingers';return true"></A>  <A HREF="http://www.wishing.com/webaudit/wa.html" TARGET="_blank"><IMG WIDTH=21 HIGHT=14 SRC="http://two.wishing.com/cgi-bin/count?2213161.1" ALT=WA BORDER=0 ALIGN=RIGHT></A> <BR CLEAR=RIGHT> <H2>Yikes! I been framed!</H2> (Best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3.0 on a 16" or better monitor.) <BR CLEAR=LEFT><P> I've got good news and bad news, spanky.<P> First the good news: My new site has frames and a client-side image map.<P> Now the bad news: That means you'll need <A HREF="http://home.netscape.com/">Netscape Navigator</A> and a 800x600 pixel monitor to view it.<BR> *The rule at the top of the page is 800 pixels long, so just click the zoom box (upper right corner of the window) or maximize your browser's window.* Of course, you don't <EM>need</EM> a 16-17" monitor to see the site, but if you're reading this on a 13" monitor, you don't need me to tell you it's too small.<P> Yeah, that's right. I finaly got with the program and learned frames - among other things. So why this page?<P> Well, because not all of you nobs have the brains to use Navigator, I have to take the time to think of something <EM>else</EM> to say. So while I could be honing my skills, learning Java and JavaScript, I have to waste my time thinking up yet more content so some garden weasel using Lynx doesn't feel left out - as if that weren't redundant.<P> So, if you want to see what my homepage looked like <EM>before</EM> I learned all this cool new stuff, or if technology confuses you and you wouldn't know what to do with a frame if you saw one, you can touch Mr. Happy down there and see where it gets you - and I do mean the smiley face at the bottom of the page, not what you were thinking, spud.<P> <A HREF="oldindex.html"><IMG WIDTH=72 HEIGHT=72 BORDER=0 ALT="Mr. Happy" SRC="face.gif" onMouseOver = "window.status='Mr Happy';return true"></A><P> Of course, if you wanted to see the new site, you would need Navigator, or some other brower that supported frames.<P> But then, if you had such a browser, this page should have jumped you there already.<P> In case you haven't jumped, or, for future reference, you don't want to have to wait for the delay, you can just poke the eye at the top of this page and it'll take you there.<P> A total of <img src="/bin/counter?FFFFFF"> people gave enough of a damn to visit this page.......<BR> <BR> <P> <HR> <p> <A HREF="https://members.tripod.com/~gristle/index.html"><IMG WIDTH=54 HEIGHT=42 ALT="poke..."ALIGN=LEFT SRC="https://members.tripod.com/~gristle/eyeconlg.gif"></A> <A HREF="http://www.eff.org/blueribbon.html"><img src="https://members.tripod.com/~gristle/rib_bar_wh.gif" ALIGN=RIGHT ALT="Free Speech Online"></A> <FONT SIZE=-1><ADDRESS><AUTHOR>David Cardillo</AUTHOR><BR> Telephone:  1-718-777-5609<BR> 26-08 Ditmars Blvd., Astoria, NY  11105<BR> <B>E-mail:  </B><a href="mailto:gristle@bigfoot.com">gristle@bigfoot.com</a><BR> <B>Homepage:  </B><A HREF="https://members.tripod.com/~gristle/">https://members.tripod.com/~gristle/</A> </ADDRESS></FONT><P> This page updated October 8, 1996. </body>